Any Club That Would Have Me As A Member...

When I was 7, I stumbled upon a cache of promotional items at our motel for the "SLEEPY BEAR CLUB," a kind of children's cult centered around the ursine mascot for the Travelodge chain. The Sleepy Bear Club Kit consisted of a ring, a button, a postcard, an iron-on patch, and a membership card. I was only able to hunt down the postcard online, shown below -- I also owned the plush Sleepy Bear pictured, and he was my best friend:

I persuaded all my human friends to join the Sleepy Bear Club, which of course they did (free swag), but once I had them in my power, I lorded it over them. If they displeased me in any way, I would threaten them with banishment from the SBC. Won't share your Charms BlowPops? Well, maybe I don't share my Sleepy Bear Club rings! Won't scoot over on the bus so I can sit down? No iron-on for you! This went on for a good week, until a friend of mine named David who'd had enough yelled, "I don't care about your STUPID junk!" And with that, my power instantly dissipated. I realized if I did not have fear, I did not have anything.

Except my plush Sleepy Bear. Rosebud!