A Great Date Movie

Driving through Indio, CA, you see signs for one of the desert's steamiest attractions:

At Shields Date Garden, a terrific roadside stop selling dates, date shakes, date cakes, date cookies, date clothing, date butter, date internal combustion engines, and 4,000 other date-based goods and services, there is an air-conditioned theater showing free entertainment: The provocatively-titled short film, "The Romance and Sex Life of the Date." Though the subject matter -- how dates are grown and harvested -- is titillating only if you're a small seed-bearing fruit, it is interesting nonetheless. But I have to say, while the current incarnation of the film boasts slick production values, I miss the recently retired 1983 version that combined owner Floyd Shields' original slideshow and narration from the 50's with such 80's staples as big hair, star-wipes, and Casio soundtrack. All that was missing were dates in torn sweatshirts and leg warmers, but that would have made viewers too hot and bothered.

The Golden Raspberry

You would think one raspberry shake stand per block would be an appropriate raspberry-shake-stand-to-block ratio. But you would be wrong, as the locals of Garden City, Utah, home of the Raspberry Days festival and ground zero for that bumpy, hairy, seedy fruit, would tell you. Acting on a tip from the local sheriff (the best tips to act upon, I find), we selected LaBeau's out of the half-dozen choices that were all within a hundred yards. The shake was delicious -- thick and full of raspberries, thereby meeting all raspberry shake requirements. We were hoping to be stopped by the sheriff on the highway later to thank him, but we literally couldn't get arrested.

The Devil's Coin Purse

Driving in Oak Glen, CA, one comes across many roadside farms and apple stands. But nothing prepared me for the deliciousness to be found at Snow-Line Orchard. Behold the miracle that is the tiny, warm bag of cinnamon-sprinkled apple cider donuts:















It was like my mouth died and went to Mouth Heaven. But I should have known they were popular when I saw this posted outside, for what other confection requires signs for crowd control?

From the "Astounding Nutmeats" File

Towering nearly 40 feet high, this is the World's Largest Pistachio.

It sits outside McGinn's Country Store/Pistachio Tree Ranch/Arena Blanca Winery, which is also the World's Longest Store Name, on US Hwy 54/70 North, outside Alamogordo, NM. But it is more than just an eye-grabbing drupe. Store owner (and old classmate of mine) Tim McGinn explained it was created as a monument to his late father, which a soon-to-be-placed plaque will reveal. I only hope when I'm gone, something large and delicious is constructed in my honor.

Speaking of delicious, the following items are must-eats from McGinn's: Atomic Hot Chili Pistachio Brittle, Cinnamon Glazed Pistachio Bites, Churro Nuggets, Chipolte Olives, Cherry Butter, and Chocolate Diablo Wine. You can check everything out online here. I don't even make any money off it, unless I am paid in satisfaction, and then I am rich (Note: richness not valid for tax purposes).

The Lost Art of Barter

Sometimes folks would stay at our motel, but they would not pay with legal tender. They would pay with something called "barter," a good or service offered in exchange for the room rental fee. This is not something that can often be done at your larger chain hotels, but it was perfect for us. Because one of the folks we would barter with was the Meat and Fish Guy. I don't know his actual name, or who he worked for, but he always came through town with a big freezer truck full of frozen, shrink-wrapped meat, and he always used said meat to pay for his room. My favorite was the Chicken Cordon Bleu, and in case you were wondering, the only way to make a chicken cutlet stuffed with ham and cheese any better is to shrink-wrap it first.














Image from instructibles.com

Good Eatin'

While I still have Tom's Candy on the brain, I found some wrappers from my favorite 70's candy bars at the Candy Wrapper Museum. First up, "Full Dinner":








As a youth, was I duped into believing this candy bar actually constituted a well-rounded meal? Indeed I was. The deception continued with "My Buddy":






Oh, you may SAY you're my buddy, but when I've grown ill from eating you and my mouth is smeared with filthy "choklat," where are you then? Some friend.

Vending, Part 1

As a youth, I lived in room 101 of the Travelodge in Alamogordo, NM. Right outside my bedroom were several vending machines -- one dispensed ice, one Coca-Cola, one Tom's snacks, and one Lance snacks. I was not a slim child. This is the Tom's logo I grew up with:

Now Tom's has a new logo and a hip new attitude. Their website touts BIG CHANGES! I don't know if anything has really changed -- the hot fries are probably still delicious -- but I enjoyed reading the company's history. SPOILER ALERT: Tom and Lance are now legally married. After all those years of being side-by-side, I wonder who made the first move?

UPDATE: Since first posting this, Tom's has taken down their website, and I couldn't find the hip new logo anywhere else online. Was this change brought about by the Lance/Tom wedding, or was it a direct response to the posting on this very website? While I refuse to speculate, it was definitely the latter.